My Road Beyond The Codependent Divorce by Lisa A. Romano

Author:Lisa A. Romano [Romano, Lisa A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781452559490
Publisher: BalboaPress
Published: 2012-10-26T00:00:00+00:00

I Am Woman

FOR A FEW DAYS after his meeting with Marc, Steven didn’t bother coming into our house. I was grateful for the reprieve, and took his avoidance as a small sign of an admission of guilt. I didn’t care. I couldn’t care. I was too busy sewing my soul back together again.

Mother’s day was near. When my mother called to ask me what Steven and the kids and I were doing for Mother’s day, I told her plainly, there was no ‘Steven and I. Steven and I were separated and getting a divorce.’ Her silence was tainted with disapproval. Instinctively I knew she understood my position had changed.

Now beyond the ability to cushion my parent’s perception of reality, my kids and I showed up at their home without Steven. Riddled with nervousness, I was cautious not to cross any invisible lines when we arrived. Dinner wrapped up without any unsettling remarks. Grateful, I looked forward to coffee and desert and non-combustible superficial conversations with family members around the dining room table.

As small talk began to flow, I felt a growing appreciation for the lighthearted exchanges, and for what felt like a sense of normalcy. Not feeling singled out for being single that day, a secret hope for more of whatever this was—was born in the belly of my soul. Feeling almost free enough to laugh out loud, I prayed my family and I would have more days like these.

Just as my mind began to release its need to stay clutched to fear, Marc decided to tip the topic of conversation my way. Caught off guard when I head him say,

“So uh Lisa, how are you going to survive once you sell your house? And what are you going to do? Are you going to have some other man raise your kids or what? If I were Steven I’d be furious at you. He gave you everything. You went on vacations, lived in a beautiful home, had money in the bank--I mean, geez, I don’t think I could put up with losing my wife, my house and my kids. I’d be pissed off at you too. And honestly Lisa, I really could not believe you called me because Steven snuck a peek at you in the shower,” Marc mocking me with the tone in his voice, and the patronizing look on his face.

Marc’s need to bait me into arguments was nothing new. But unlike so many times before, I was no longer concerned about keeping invisible apple carts steady. The compulsion to censor any reaction to his comments was gone.

Adrenaline shot through my veins like rockets. As my body stiffened, I could feel rage fill my head. So present in the moment, it was not possible for me to conceal the emotions his ordinary insensitivity provoked.

My belly flipped and my head sprung around like someone had smacked it hard when I glared into Marc’s eyes and said,

“How dare you! How dare you make remarks about my life! Do you have

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